# 10 Things to Do Before Filing for Divorce
*By Your Friendly Neighborhood Divorce Attorney (Yes, the Fun One)*
Divorce is a little like skydiving. Exhilarating for some, terrifying for most, and absolutely not something you should do without a parachute.
As a divorce attorney who has shepherded hundreds of brave souls into their next chapters, let me tell you this: **preparation is everything**. The difference between a smooth(ish) landing and an emotional belly flop often comes down to what you do *before* filing.
So before you march into court like you’re starring in your own courtroom drama, here are **10 smart, strategic, and sanity-saving things to do first**.
—
## 1. Get Emotionally Grounded
I know. You’re mad. Or sad. Or exhausted. Or all three before breakfast.
But divorce decisions made in peak emotional chaos often come with expensive regret receipts.
Speak with a therapist. Journal. Take a walk. Scream into a pillow. Just don’t make permanent legal decisions from temporary emotional spikes. A calm mind makes better long-term decisions—especially about custody, money, and property.
—
## 2. Know Your Numbers
Repeat after me: **Knowledge is power.**
Gather copies of:
– Bank account statements
– Retirement accounts
– Credit card balances
– Mortgage documents
– Tax returns (last 2–3 years)
– Pay stubs
– Investment accounts
– Business financials (if applicable)
If you don’t know what you own, owe, or earn, it’s like trying to divide a pizza without knowing how many slices exist. (Hint: This leads to arguments.)
Bonus tip: Make copies before announcing your plans.
—
## 3. Check Your Credit
You’d be amazed how many people discover financial surprises at divorce time.
Pull your credit report. Look for:
– Unknown debts
– Joint accounts
– Missed payments
– Lines of credit
This isn’t about mistrust. It’s about clarity. Divorce is hard enough without discovering a secret jet ski loan.
—
## 4. Build a Financial Safety Net
Divorce can temporarily feel like funding two households on the income previously covering one. It’s math’s way of being rude.
– Open a separate bank account (if appropriate in your jurisdiction).
– Start setting aside funds for legal fees and living expenses.
– Create a post-divorce budget.
Knowing you can pay rent and buy groceries after filing provides a level of peace that is priceless.
—
## 5. Understand Your State’s Laws
Every state handles:
– Property division
– Spousal support
– Child custody
…differently.
Are you in a community property state? An equitable distribution state? Is spousal support common? Rare?
This is not cocktail party trivia — it directly impacts your strategy and expectations. A consultation with a skilled divorce attorney (preferably one with excellent jokes) will clarify this quickly.
—
## 6. Think About the Kids (Strategically and Emotionally)
If you have children, pause here.
Custody decisions focus on the “best interest of the child,” not “who is currently angrier.”
Consider:
– Current parenting roles
– School districts
– Work schedules
– Childcare logistics
Start documenting involvement in daily parenting if that’s relevant. Be proactive, not reactive. Courts appreciate organized, child-focused parents—not dramatic monologues.
—
## 7. Inventory Your Property
Walk through your home (mentally or literally) and list major assets:
– House
– Cars
– Jewelry
– Art
– Furniture
– Electronics
– Collectibles
Yes, even the Peloton. Especially the Peloton.
Photos and documentation prevent future “that was my grandmother’s antique lamp” battles.
—
## 8. Avoid Social Media Shenanigans
Nothing says “impulsive litigant” like posting:
– New relationships
– Lavish purchases
– Rants about your spouse
– Cryptic thirst traps
Assume everything online will appear in a courtroom blown up to poster size.
Until your divorce is finalized, social media should be as boring as a tax seminar.
—
## 9. Consider Your Living Arrangements Carefully
Before dramatically packing a suitcase and announcing, “I’m done,” consider the legal implications.
Moving out can affect:
– Custody dynamics
– Financial responsibilities
– Possession of the home
Don’t make housing decisions without legal advice. This is chess, not checkers. And in chess, you don’t move the king into danger because you’re emotional before dinner.
—
## 10. Consult with a Divorce Attorney Before You File
This isn’t about “declaring war.” It’s about understanding your options.
In a single consultation, you can learn:
– Likely outcomes
– Financial expectations
– Custody possibilities
– Strategic timing
– Whether reconciliation efforts are worth exploring first
Sometimes the most empowering thing you can do is simply gather information. Filing may or may not happen — but clarity changes everything.
—
# Final Thoughts: Preparation = Power
Divorce isn’t a failure. It’s often a transition toward a healthier future. But transitions are smoother when you don’t treat them like reality TV finales.
Preparation protects:
– Your finances
– Your relationship with your children
– Your future stability
– Your emotional bandwidth
The better prepared you are before filing, the more control you maintain throughout the process.
And control — in a situation that feels wildly uncontrollable — is priceless.
If you’re considering divorce, take a breath. Make a plan. Get informed. And remember: even though this chapter may be ending, your story is far from over.
—
For more guidance on preparing for divorce, watch this helpful video: